One of the most important things to keep in mind when it comes to confidence is that it is not a question of whether or not you can be confident. You can be confident if you choose it. The question when it comes to confidence is are you going to decide to be confident and then work to keep your confidence fresh and new each day. It is important to remember that often confidence does not start and remain strong and steady over the course of a lifetime. Indeed, confidence sometimes comes and goes. Confidence is something that you can renew moment by moment and day by day. Giving the adjectives to each day’s name helps you to focus on characteristics and qualities and this focus will help you to renew your confidence, remain focused and succeed all you attempt.
Years ago when my husband proposed marriage to me, I told him we were going to get married and be happy together forever. He asked me, “Or what?” He laughed when I responded, “There is no or what, we are getting married, we are going to be happy together forever, that is it.” Happiness, success and confidence work that way. You must tell yourself you are going to be happy, successful and confident period. If there is no option available for anything else, you will not make a mistake by choosing an option that leads to unhappiness, failure and lack of confidence.
When it comes to being confident, never give yourself an “or” option. Tell yourself that you are going to be confident, period. This is very important. Think about children, when you tell a child, “clean your room or no dessert.” Sometimes the room will get clean and sometimes it will not. You gave the child an option and she picked the one that was most pleasing to her. The lack of dessert was more pleasing than doing the work to clean the room. When talking with yourself about being confident, never give yourself an or option. Never say to yourself, “I will be confident or I will not be able to get things done.” Do not use this or option because it allows you to think, in a subtle and subliminal way that the thing that comes after the or is a possible, acceptable or desirable outcome. It is not.
When it comes to confidence, the thing after the or is not the desired outcome. It is not even an equal outcome. The thing that comes after the or when you are talking about acting with confidence is not what you want and not what you should have your mind concentrating on. Concentrate only on the thing you want – being confident and successful in all you do.